Losing you.

I guess I'm finally losing you.
Little by little, part by part.
Soul by Soul, finger by finger.
You've fallen away and really, it's my fault,
how many times do I have to say it
before I'm forgiven? I know, I know, I've fucked up
so badly and I know he can't forgive me.
But can you?
Your heart is Big. I know you will. At least on the surface.
But deep down, under the skin of things,
will you, really? No.
I've really fucked up this time. Because I can't excuse this away
with "I've been busy" and how many times can my relatives die,
and you won't believe me. Even though it's the godawful Truth.
Love me, love me, I love you, can't you see.
It's true, I've messed up.
But I thought we had unconditional things. I'll love you forever sort
of things. I forgive you everything things.
Is this so unforgivable?

I'm pushing you away, in my own way, I suppose.
I'm shoving you away so you don't get hurt when I screw up again.
Can't hear you cry again, so I'll put you away from me. Protect my heart
from hurting by hurting myself by pushing you away.
Get away, get away. Make him happy, make me miserable, if only to save yourself.
And I guess I'm finally losing you,
and I've never been so miserable, so Bonecrushingly miserable.
But at the same time,
I'm so glad I'm finally doing the right thing for you.
By letting you Go.