procrastinator

I am seriously turning into the worst procrastinator ever-- I have a huge essay/outline test in History of the Americas, and I haven't done a thing for it. And since I am responsible for the U.S. portion of the information I feel especially guilty. I guess, and I hope, my partner is more responsible than I, and has done her work, because then the essay will be seriously Canada-centric. Which is fine, but it just denotes what a lazy ass I am.

Not only have I put that off, I completely have blown off my math homework, and all of my other work until now. Or a few minutes from now when I'm done with this. And, to top it all off, I have a C in Math. What the hell. I have a A- in fucking Bio, and I have a C in Math. You win some, you lose some. Fuck it all. I'm just so infuriated with life.

And as if life couldn't be any worse, any worse, the Obscure Object has just gotten himself in the biggest shit ever. I mean big shit. He might have just committed a felony. I'm seriously trying very hard to keep it all together, and it's not working. I've been wavering between tears and just intense intense hatred of life. Why? Why? I don't understand, I just don't. Why the hell would someone so intrinsically intelligent do something so stupid?

I really don't understand life-- I don't mean to get so bloody existentialist. But this blog is really only for my benefit, I doubt anyone reads it, ever. So, I guess I shouldn't apologise for the existentialism. But I'm just so angry-- angry can't even describe the contempt I feel for him right now. But at the same time, I just want him to let me cry on his shoulder-- even though, he's the one who needs to be crying.

If he's expelled, I'm going to scream.

scary arm problems

It feels like they're frozen-- but they're not cold. Typing is so hard-- and painful. I think it's just my left hand/arm. Agh. AND I have so much homework to do tonight-- how can I write if my arms feel like they're on slow motion? Damn and a half.

In other news-- I just started an amazing book. It's called Blink, and normally I hate nonfiction-- but this is really interesting and is about first impressions and how sometimes they're right. Which strikes me as rather hilarious, because we're taught not to base our opinions of people on first impressions-- even though everyone does anyway.

Mika saves...

Basically -- Mika blasting at ridiculous levels, accompanied by a marvelous pair of new shoes... can save my mood. Yes, I retract all previous statements about men being craptastic. They aren't. They're wonderful.

Yes, Mika saves.

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Seeqpod Music

men = crap!

Men are craptastic. It's official. I hate them.

I also am on a major "I hate my friends" binge, because they are all stupid self-centred bitches. And I am just as self-centred for posting this crap. But still-- I am so tired of hearing about their little dramas! Who cares if you have no "prospects". You whore-- I never have prospects. Agh.

I'm good. Just needing to rant.

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Seeqpod Music

Band practise--

We're officially called Telenovela now, and we're in the midst of writing a song called Obesity and Speed-- it's so exciting. I've never really felt involved with something like this before-- it's been such a rewarding experience. We'll never get anywhere, but it's still fun anyway. I intended to sing-- but I guess I'm just playing rhythm guitar-- which I really don't want to do, but has been fun anyway. Basically, we tried to play She Moves in her Own Way by the Kooks, but the time signature is absurd and strange, so we gave up and started writing our own stuff.

... !

The Sex God touched my arm today!

I was in the back of the theatre freaking about something, when the Sex God#2 walked by, with some of the members of one of his many bands. He touched my arm, and said hi. And he smiled. I swear-- I swooned and said, in a rather weak voice, "Hey". ... Hey? Hey? How about-- "I think you are beautiful and I am totally in love with you?" Yeah. That sounds right. I've had a quasi-crush on him since fourth grade. He's pretty much the boy I'll always wish all my other crushes were.

In other boy news-- the Obscure Object and I have struck up numerous conversations in the last few days-- I think he thinks I'm stupid, but I'll prove him wrong.

In a completely different hemisphere-- I got a hundred percent on my Mexican Revolution paper!

valentine's day

I hate Valentine's Day.

It represents all of the commercilisation that our world has gone through. Love is no longer kisses and hugs-- it's chocolate and roses. And the most expensive teddy bear. I don't think anyone should express their love with ridiculously over priced flowers.

Donate to the Heifer Project, or One, in the name of the person you love-- instead of wasting a ton of money on stupid objects. Or, take them out to dinner. Watch a movie with them. Whatever.

I hate hate hate how love can't be expressed every day-- and how suddenly it's acceptable to make up to someone by giving them a good Valentine's Day.

Obscure Object woes

Basically, I finally told my friend that I liked him. She was kinder than I would have expected. I would have been nasty and rather catty. But, she wasn't. She was quite unsurprised, really. She just said that she'd suspected, but had repressed the idea. Amusing. I make people repress things-- I guess that makes me rather abhorrent. Anyhow, she said she had no emotional attachment whatsoever, and then advised me that "he enjoys arguing about religion and evolution-- it turns him on". Right then... She also remarked that he was a "bloody good kisser".