Proust Questionnaire.

Ah, Proust, you lovely boy, you. I dedicate this to you!
To see his actual answers, in French, follow this link →



Confessions.
An Album to Record Thoughts, Feelings, &c.

Your favourite virtue. – Kindness and patience.

Your favourite qualities in a man. – Intelligence.

Your favourite qualities in a woman. – Intelligence, wit.

Your favourite occupation. – Thinking, writing, dreaming.

Your chief characteristic. – Liberality.

Your idea of happiness. – A life spent in artistic pursuit.

Your idea of misery. – A life without love or purpose.

Your favourite colour and flower. – I love red and calla lilies.

If not yourself, who would you be? – I would be… Rufus Wainwright.

Where would you like to live? – Canada! Or Ireland.

Your favourite prose authors. – Jon McGregor, Alan Hollingshurst, Michael Cunningham.

Your favourite poets. – Seamus Heaney, Sylvia Plath, Yevegeny Yevtushenko, Anna Ahkmatova, Alan Ginsberg

Your favourite painters and composers. – Rachmaninoff, Mahler, John Singer-Sargent, Rufus Wainwright, Snow Patrol, Bob Dylan, the Doors.

Your favourite heroes in real life. – My friend Eli, Rufus Wainwright.

Your favourite heroines in real life. – Sylvia Plath.

Your favourite heroes in fiction. – John Grady from All the Pretty Horses.

Your favourite heroines in fiction. – Antigone.

Your favourite food and drink. – Food: pan friend noodle; drink: Irish breakfast tea.

Your favourite names. – Eli, Rian, Rafe, Inara, Mikael, Ecke.

Your pet aversion. – Chewing with ones's mouth open.

What characters in history do you most dislike. – Hitler, for his avarice, his racism, and his nationalism.

The natural talent you'd like to be gifted with – Beauty and charisma.

How you wish to die – A painless drug overdoes. Euphoria and then silence.

What is your present state of mind. – Rather bored, kind of musing.

For what fault have you most toleration? – Sarcasm.

Your favourite motto. – "It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end." – Ursula LeGuin

hey jack kerouac...

Who is Your Alter Poet?

Way to go, your alter poet is Jack Kerouac, who is by FAR the coolest! Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

This amused me to no end. I'll be honest and admit that I am a rather large Kerouac fan, although I fucking hate the word beat and I will beat (haha) anyone over the head who happens to use the words "cats," "jive," "groovy," and or "hip," in my general vincinity. After I read On the Road I started smoking, so I can generally blame Kerouac for the descent of my health and my current addiction to Camel #9s. Or maybe it's just the pink and black box that's addicting. Well, anyway. Kerouac and I are apparently quite alike, and he's my "alter poet" ego or whatever.

I'm posting entirely too much today, but I really can't help but write a little. I guess it's just that I haven't written in a long time, and this is my one outlet of pretension. I haven't written poetry in like two months, and anything prose I've written has been bordering on psychotic, and I don't mean that in a "haha, I'm soooo crazy" kind of way, but more like it doesn't make any sense. I wrote short story around midnight about a month ago, and when I woke up the next morning and read it was pure gibberish. There were a few gems of sentences in there, so I extracted those and set them around in a sort of semblance of a story, but I'd be lying if I said it made any sense after that.

Anyhow, I just need to get some stuff off my chest.

And a question, what does everyone have against lesbians? All my gay guy friends disdain lesbians, and everyone seems to think there's something wrong with it. Why is that gay guys are more accepted? Well, relatively accepted by society. This has been giving me a bit of a pause lately. Not because of any recent revelations about my sexuality, I've known for a while that I'm at least bisexual, but I've been trying to get more involved in GLBTQ rights, and I've noticed that there's a lot of like prejudice within the movement itself. Like, for some reason everyone hates bisexuals. And a lot of gay guys have nothing but scorn for lesbians (and bisexuals). It's just making me pause and think about some stuff. I'd thought about coming out soon (and I did come out a couple close friends earlier this week) but now I'm not so sure. I don't want to be accused of being "a fake" or a "transitioner," although I'm sure that's always a possibility. I just want to be taken at face value, not like I’m trying to cheat someone just because I like boys and girls. It's very frustrating to lose faith in a group that I thought I could identify with, and a group I thought that would accept me. It's hard enough coming to terms with sexuality, and I thought that it'd be easier because there are more resources for GLBTQ kids now, then ever before. But I feel like I’m running up against a brick wall again and again, slamming my head in. I'm not straight, and I'm not entirely gay, so I have nowhere to go. Not to mention I'm half Asian and half white, so I have no ethnic identity either. I'm stuck in the middle of everything, and I just hate it.

I need a new drug

Tomorrow I’m starting on Prozac.


…


That is all there is to say, really.

whatever.

So my parents said that they would get me therapy.
LIES!

Lies. I'm so mad.