Tuesday, November 6, 2007

even just for the day

I've reached the end of my rope. I am wiped. Emotionally, physically, I am drained of all I can give. I'm to the point where I can no longer be unselfish. I cannot hold up any longer. I am just not myself anymore. And if one more person pushes my buttons I will scream and scream until I can no longer hold onto sanity. There is only so far I can push myself, and I have reached the wall. My dreams are plagued with things I can't see; and my life is plagued by my growing sense of disillusionment and paranoia.

I cannot see how I will possibly make it to the end of the week without just dropping out, completely, or just hitting the wall. And if I do both, I wouldn't be surprised. I'm just OVER IT. Over everything.

And I just needed to rant for a few seconds to get it all off my chest and onto paper, because honestly, if I keep everything bottled up like I have a tendency to do, I will end up hitting my head against the wall repeatedly until my forehead is bloody.

I've done that before. And it was weird. And I don't want to do it again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is exactly how I feel today.